Thursday, December 31, 2009

Holding a Grudge...

It seems like a thing a 5 year-old would do. Ask anyone about it, and they will tell you that its juvenile or that its a waste of time. However, I find that many people still hold grudges, myself included.

How do my grudges begin? Mainly when someone I really respect and care about says something crass or acts a certain way that I don't like. In fact, its pretty difficult to explain. I hold people in such high regard and get along with most everybody that its surprising to find that everything a particular person does isn't always fact at times it can become down-right annoying.

Am I making sense?

I view so many individuals as amazing beings; so when they don't always do amazing things, I feel disappointed. I think I feel this way because of the extremely idealistic side of me...may be I should develop more realistic tastes.

More so, grudges are a clear manifestation of a person's inability to communicate with the person they find in error. Speaking on personal terms, I would rather let something fester and marinate in mind than actually communicate it to others, just because I detest confrontation or strong criticism. That's it! Confrontation and Criticism. They turn out to be things that many of us are afraid of. And of course, they turn out to be strong barriers when trying to communicate with others.

Another thing. I believe that its so much easier to be "juvenile" and hold a certain idea against another person than to be "mature" and forgive them of their actions. Truly the old adage of "forgive and forget" is much more difficult to carry out than it is to quote.

So this is as much as a criticism of myself as it is a call to action for others. If something is bothering you about someone else, its so much more rewarding to talk to the person about it than let your judgment of the person grow. Talking it out with a person will help them see what they did to hurt your feeling and maybe you yourself will be able to see your own faults as well.

And if you can't do that, its better to just forgive the person. Because focusing on petty grievances detracts from the possibly amazing relationship you can share with that person.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Good Friends Make the World go Round...

I just came back from a dinner at a friend's house. And I loved it. How pleasant it was to be in the company of good friends! More so, to laugh, talk, complain, and just spend time with the ones that you truly enjoy to be with. She invited some of her other best friends to the dinner as well, some of them whom I didn't know very well. But here's the thing. They all share common characteristics of my friend. The same characteristics that make her such a charismatic, charming, and lovable person in my eyes. Consequently, I quickly learned to love these friends of her's just as I love her. Have you ever noticed that before?

Is there something about someone that is so attractive that you find it in others?

Friendships are amazing things, and I sincerely believe that we take them for granted. Even the word "friend" is tossed around so much that it looses much of its true meaning. Actually, that is one of the things that I believe the English language lacks. When referring to relationships, our words sometimes fail us. Words such as "love", "like", "hate", and "friend" just don't have the same impact for me as in other languages. Take for instance the word for friendship in Spanish: amistad. In Spanish, one doesn't throw "amistad" around like a frisbee. No, an "amistad" is reserved for something special. That something special is something I have for my true friends. Actually, I have begun to refer to some people as "acquaintances" rather than friends, because it describes my relationship with them truthfully.

Anyway, being around this special group of people just warmed my heart. And what we did wasn't extraordinary. We ate a well-prepared dinner together, watched an awards show on television, and played Cranium. That was it! But what a good time we had.

What I ask of others is to find meaningful relationships in their lives. I believe that some are too preoccupied with being around "people" they fail to share sincere connections with. What I'm saying is that many times moments like these won't happen everyday, but what's important is to thoroughly enjoy the times that do come.

Make real friends.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Why I like the movies...

Okay. I just came back from watching AVATAR in theatres now, and guess what? I thought it was awesome. Really. Really awesome. The cinematography, the storyline, and the script all came together in a near-perfect union and created an amazing visual treat and an amazing film. But whilst I was watching the film, I thought of how much I love the movies and the film-making process in general.

There is something about good films that makes me feel inside the action, that makes me feel as if I was apart of the film itself. And note that I said "good" films. I recently saw INVICTUS starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon, and the same emotions were not felt. Hahaha, then again, I am quite biased towards films about "Africa" and the plight of "Africans". I found myself continuously rolling my eyes over how staged and sappy the film was. In fact, I'll digress a little bit later on this bias of mine towards films about countries in the mother-land.

But back to AVATAR. The same way I felt watching the film is the same way I feel when I'm on stage performing. Acting is something I love. Something I really, really love. However, as beloved as it is, I understand that a career in the field is a little far-fetched. But you don't know how many times I have been told: "YOU HAVE TO BE A DRAMA/THEATRE MAJOR!" Honestly, when I say that acting is almost something innate inside of me, it really is. And watching AVATAR only makes my thirst stronger. Its not that I necessarily want to be a film actor. But just the opportunity of performing for the pleasure of the audience and for one's own enjoyment is something so desirable to me.

I don't know. Even as much as I daydream about a possible acting career, I realize all the politics that are involved in films. Let's be honest. Race and gender are a wicked influence in both film and theatre acting. And being a black female doesn't help my plight. ;) We'll see. I was warned to focus on my actual major this semester than spend time at rehearsals for University theatre productions...but when I am more inclined to memorize the lines of a new play than memorize equations and formulas for chemistry class...I believe where I want to devote my time is clearly seen.

Thanks AVATAR.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The sky isn't the limit...try to make it to the ceiling first

Alas! I've deciding to continue with this blogging business, I think it'll work out just fine eh? But I've been pondering something for a while now...pondering about my life chances and the *life chances of others.

First of all, I must say the completing my first semester of college has made me into quite the cynic. I knew making a living in our society was difficult, but I believe that one doesn't really realize this until they themselves have to have one foot in adulthood. Granted, I believe that I was able to remain a "child" for a good amount of time. And by referring to myself as a "child", I mean that I didn't have nearly the same amount of responsibilities and preoccupations that adults have to deal with on a regular basis...

...but for sake of length (I can tend to become long-winded); I believe children are deceived in believing that we can do whatever we want to do and become whomever we desire to become.

How many are the times I remember teachers, parents, counselors, or family members tell me that "the sky is the limit" or "you have a world of possibilities in front of you". But that definitely isn't the case. Money, race,gender, social-economic status, even the location of your home all favor into the life chances one is given, and the realization of this is slapping me across the face. Granted, there are innumerable accounts of those that have surpassed the expectations they were given, but for the majority of the earth's population, and for the majority of children who are told they are our "future", this feat is never accomplished.

Some don't even make it past the proverbial "ceiling"

I will expound on this topic more, but more honesty about a person's real life chances is needed. Otherwise, a trail of broken hearts and egos are left behind.

*life chances: opportunities one has to improve the quality of their life. refers to career, health, wealth, etc...

A New Day...

This is my first time blogging. My reason: I need another way to express my feelings. And its not that I have something incredibly important to say. But I do have words. Words in my head. Words that need to be written, or in this case, typed.

Additionally, I thought it fitting to start blogging on the eve of a new year: 2010
I'm quite excited. 2009 turned out to be an interesting one. A very interesting one. Actually, one of the most stressful and defining years I have ever experienced. Granted, I haven't experienced too many.

Well, here goes!