Thursday, December 31, 2009
Holding a Grudge...
It seems like a thing a 5 year-old would do. Ask anyone about it, and they will tell you that its juvenile or that its a waste of time. However, I find that many people still hold grudges, myself included.
How do my grudges begin? Mainly when someone I really respect and care about says something crass or acts a certain way that I don't like. In fact, its pretty difficult to explain. I hold people in such high regard and get along with most everybody that its surprising to find that everything a particular person does isn't always extraordinary...in fact at times it can become down-right annoying.
Am I making sense?
I view so many individuals as amazing beings; so when they don't always do amazing things, I feel disappointed. I think I feel this way because of the extremely idealistic side of me...may be I should develop more realistic tastes.
More so, grudges are a clear manifestation of a person's inability to communicate with the person they find in error. Speaking on personal terms, I would rather let something fester and marinate in mind than actually communicate it to others, just because I detest confrontation or strong criticism. That's it! Confrontation and Criticism. They turn out to be things that many of us are afraid of. And of course, they turn out to be strong barriers when trying to communicate with others.
Another thing. I believe that its so much easier to be "juvenile" and hold a certain idea against another person than to be "mature" and forgive them of their actions. Truly the old adage of "forgive and forget" is much more difficult to carry out than it is to quote.
So this is as much as a criticism of myself as it is a call to action for others. If something is bothering you about someone else, its so much more rewarding to talk to the person about it than let your judgment of the person grow. Talking it out with a person will help them see what they did to hurt your feeling and maybe you yourself will be able to see your own faults as well.
And if you can't do that, its better to just forgive the person. Because focusing on petty grievances detracts from the possibly amazing relationship you can share with that person.