Thursday, February 11, 2010

Find More Enjoyment in Being Alone

I know, I know, it sounds kind of sad, but that is something I really need to to. You see, I am naturally a person that thrives on being surrounded by other people. I feel excited and happy when I'm talking to different people, sharing stories, experiences, and laughs. That is one of the things that makes me most happy. However, I feel that because of this natural tendency, I am giving up an essential part of my personal growth. I sincerely feel that I've reached a stand still in my life. I want to see a definitive change in my behavior, appearance, or ideology, and I'm not seeing that just yet. I must admit that my desire to "change" may just be a sociological response to our media's (society's) idea that college should be a "life-changing" experience. Consequently, because I have been told so much that college will "change" me; when I do not seeing that initial change, I start to get worried.

I just want to feel less dependent of social relationships with others. I want to feel secure and strong as a singular individual. But I really don't know how to do it. I do not want to seem distant or moody, I just want to grow my intellect rather than my social circle. Additionally, I am quite a bold person, so being by myself in different settings has never really been a problem. I want to open my eyes to new people. I have become much too relaxed with my social circle. It is time for a little chaos. I think that I will attend more academic programs by myself, I want to gain a larger global understanding of things around me. Well, that is all that is on my mind right now. What do you suggest?

1 comment:

  1. Yes yes yes! Another blog that seeks to enact change in self! Its not sad that we thrive on other people, it is something about us that makes us who we are, it is something that drives us forward. Not only does it help us to grow through each of our experiences, it helps us to gain simple perspective over the entirety of our being.

    I agree with you about natural tendencies as well however, because sometimes that we depend on this fact we forget to find out who we are at our core. I know this is true in my life at least that we can not be made up simply on the mish-mash quilt of everyone around us. What I have found is that instead we must weave our own thoughts and strains into the fabric of this reality in order to make things ours and to realize what our core really is, and what it stands for. More than college, LIFE should be a changing experience, I applaud your desire to change. It is something that I share.

    Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone and learn to be a little "anti-social" some times. Because it does make us stronger, it does make us lean on our own two feet, at least for me anyways it makes me run in them too. We need to grow out and up instead of just up, or instead of just out. For me, not only am I opening to new people, but I'm slowly opening my eyes to the insides and ideas in old friends and relationships as well, as a constant development in order to discontinue stagnation. Chaos is my order. Maybe it's yours too? I thrive on discussion, I hope this wasn't an overshare.