Its so interesting. There are times where I feel extreme elation, and then there are times where I feel sad, and confused. Today is one of those days. The day has been such an odd mix of laughter, thoughtful conversation, self-reflection, and sadness. I don't know, it has been weird. And I feel weird. Constantly people come up to me and say things like, "Oh you're SO mature for your age" ; "My goodness, I would have never guessed you were a freshman"; "Wow, you always seem so confident of yourself"; etc. etc. And I agree. I know that I am an extreme old soul. I feel like I have been on this world once before, maybe even twice! But with this added "maturity" comes added responsibility. Even though I act like I have everything together, inside, I (like many people on a daily basis) go through moments of emotional confusion. I don't want people to expect too much from me, because I'm still trying to figure out my own expectations.
There are things that I should be doing, should be thinking, should be striving for, and when I see other people doing what I believe I should be, I feel an automatic tinge of jealousy. Actually, I spoke about that to someone. We spoke about rating one's success in comparison to that of others. May be this is my fatigue talking. I have not gotten a decent night of sleep in the past week. It has been tough. I think it's time to go to bed. Te quiero.