Sunday, May 9, 2010

And that's a wrap...

Sorry for not blogging in such a long time!

Guess what?!? I'm finished with my first year of college. But oddly's something I'm not super excited about.

I don't like "conclusions" very much. Don't get me wrong, I was MORE than ready to get the work over with. However, there is something about school. Something about the campus that I have made my home. My new home. Sure, the "true" definition of a home is where your family is, where you feel most comfortable, but I think that definition can be taken several different ways. Take this for example. I love my family dearly. Sometimes I believe more than life itself...but am I REALLY being myself around them? I don't know if I am. You know, I think this is just my lack of "freedom" talking. Or rather, the change thereof. At college, I didn't have anyone to really report to about my actions, unless they were of course illegal! But otherwise, I did what I wanted. Said what I wanted. Dressed the way I wanted. Acted the way I wanted. (however, as I say that now, I realize that there were definitive barriers, BUT...) But! Since being back home, there has been a reversal in all that.

It's a shock for sure. It's as if my life is telling me: "AH HA! There you are! An appetizer of TRUE freedom" only to say later on: "BUT WAIT! No! You are still a...C.H.I.L.D."

This independent spirit is something my parents have always warned me of. But it's really infectious. I feel the YOUTH bubbling forth from my being as we speak!!! And I think my parents are a little concerned. They see how uncomfortable I am at times. And it's not their fault. No. No. Well, maybe kind of. They shouldn't have allowed me to go so far from home. I mean, what did they expect?

ANYWAY! The ending of the semester brought very mixed feelings.

I need to keep blogging I think. Yes. That would be good this summer. It'll keep my mind from going off into the clouds; something that it is EXTREMELY fond of.


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